When you’re neurodivergent, you will be accused of having ill intent
When you’re neurodivergent, you aren’t allowed to be yourself unless you are ready to be bullied, humiliated and/or rejected
When you’re neurodivergent, you will be told in various ways that who you are is not okay
You will hear things like, “who does that?” with a judgmental or disgusted tone of voice
No one really wants a neurodivergent friend, partner, associate or family member
All of the above wishes they had someone normal instead, whatever normal is
When you’re neurodivergent, you will learn it’s not safe to be yourself, to speak your mind or be honest in any way
When you’re neurodivergent, you will be excluded, uninvited, forgotten or excommunicated from various groups of people and you will quickly see how and why you don’t belong to any kind of community
When you’re neurodivergent, you will be bullied at every school, in every grade, at every workplace because you are an easy target
When you’re neurodivergent, you learn as a child how to mask and pretend to be normal and when that mask falls or someone sees through it, it is typically a traumatic experience that invites disdain, judgment, attack, unsolicited advice, embarrassment, humiliation, and bullying from others
People will make fun of your quirkiness and eccentricities
When you’re neurodivergent, you stick to yourself so you don’t bother others because you have constantly been told that you bother others so you accept whatever role has been assigned to you by your family or community whether that is the role of caregiver, scapegoat or other label
When you do find someone nice who doesn't despise you, you become overjoyed and this seems to irritate that person. You then become “too much” for that person and they start to either complain about you or avoid you. You wonder what you did wrong until you realize that the answer is always the same: you were simply being yourself
Because of this cyclical experience of constant rejection and embarrassment, you learn to not need others. You learn to not trust others. You learn to rely solely on yourself whenever you can. Some may accuse you of rejecting or avoiding them. It’s like you’re damned if you and damned if you don’t.
Either way, just know, that there are others who understand your struggle, others just like you but different than you. After all, it is a spectrum.
You may never find full acceptance with anyone, even others on the spectrum. But you can find full acceptance of yourself if you dare to, if you choose to, despite all the neurotypicals that want you to get back in your box and mind the social graces that they defined and came up with.
If you don’t mind these spoken and unspoken rules, of which there are endless, you may be called names like “homophobic” or “transphobic” or “racist” or “sexist” or any other labels that have been designed to shut people up and shun them. If you struggle to accept yourself, you may strive to become part of whatever social engineering program is happening at the time so you can find some sense of community or some sense of belonging.
Some neurotypicals falsely believe that you don’t need or want anyone because you have learned to not bother anyone, avoid embarrassment and rejection and have been told in countless ways that who you are is not okay.
You are told what is expected of you and who you are expected to be by people who expect you to be mindful of every kind of minority and make space for them and adjust your behavior for them. But no one does that for you.