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Spiritual Beings: Episode 3: Choosing Your Religion

Guida:  And it is time now to choose a religion.

Hopole sighs with reservation.

Hopole:  Do I have to?

Guida:  You already know the answer to that.  Do we need a refresher course on freewill as a birthright?

Hopole:  Well, for sure, I don't want to be a Muslim.  I was pissed when my 72 virgins were all fat and ugly.

Guida:  That was done purposefully.  Obviously, you didn't learn the lesson that beauty is only skin deep.

Guida makes a note of this.

Hopole:  Yeah, yeah, yeah.  Aray has a wicked sense of humor.  Remind me why I need to choose a religion...

Guida:  Otherwise, you're in danger of worshiping yourself, others, substances or things.  Must we review your previous incarnations?  It's not like I'm helping Jesus or Gandhi come up with a birth plan.  You, my dear, are still on the bunny slopes of existence. 

Hopole:  Please don't torture me again with my life reviews.  Can't I just simply be spiritual this time around?

Guida laughs.

Guida:  You already are.

Hopole:  You know what I mean!

Guida:  We tried that before too.  Remember?  Things got a little dark with your forays into seances and ouija boards.  Someone with your make-up needs a little more guidance and structure.

Hopole:  I don't want any restrictions on my freedom.

Guida:  Precisely my point.

Hopole:  Okay, fine.  How about Hindu?  I always wanted to do that party with all the paints.

Guida rolls her eyes.

Guida:  Well, at least we're moving in the right direction.  I'll have you discover Hinduism as a teenager.  Since the parents you chose will still be struggling with finding their faith, you will have to find some spiritual direction outside your family of origin.  Let's move on to your choice of occupation.

Hopole: That's easy.  Rock star!